Borders

"Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offense."
-Robert Frost

I have walled myself in and the world out.

At my age, I don't much care what people think anymore...at least not like I used to.

And certainly not enough to make me change my ways, so long as I was ok with them.

But it doesn't mean I don't want to be accepted.

I very much want to be accepted and to feel a connection to other people.

But I want it on my terms.

I'd like to be accepted for myself.

And I know I am...a lot to deal with.

But, you know what, so are you.

And so is everybody.

I want a few people to look at me, in all my gory detail,

and see that the good outweighs the bad most of the time.

And I want that to be enough.

Most of the time, it hasn't felt like it is enough though.

And so I've set up walls around myself and I look out at the world through little peepholes

and get made when no one tries to storm the gates.

I've gone too far yet again.

I've set up so many obstacles that it's not fair to ask anyone to try to find me in the labyrinth.

And so the walls must come down...

Not all of them, but some.

Or else I'll just keep being lonely.

And I'm tired of feeling alone.