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I don't care what people think about me.

I'm weird and awkward.

I talk too much or not at all.

I like to be right, and I'm not always diplomatic about it.

I know my flaws.  They are a part of what makes me, me.

And I'm forever saying things I don't mean.

"Travel and tell no one, 
live a true love story and tell no one, 
live happily and tell no one, 
people ruin beautiful things."

I want approval so badly that it hurts.

I want to be liked.

I want to be loved.

But you can't really ask for those things, can you?

You can't walk up to someone and say 'be proud of me and mean it', 'love me and let me believe it'.

You accept the love you think you deserve.

What if you don't think you deserve any love?

Is that why it's so hard to believe?

It's a cruel trick that a person can know something and not feel it.

I understand that people love me.

How do I transfer facts to feelings?

"All the love I have here, sometimes it's just not enough" -Sera Cahoone

Is it a false memory, when I remember feeling loved once?

People don't love me in the right way.

They love me in their way.

Is it fair to ask for someone to pound it into you over and over that they love you, until you have no choice but to believe it?

Because that's what I remember.

Someone who cared enough to make me believe, in spite of all my doubt and second-guessing, that they truly loved me.  They loved me, not because I was related to them or because they needed me for their own ends or because I was pretty or because they couldn't do better...but only because I was me.

That's once in a lifetime and, even then, only if you're very, very lucky.

But people love in different ways.

Does sticking by someone day after day for years, when the going is tough and walking away would be so much easier, even if it's only out of a sense of duty, deserve to be thought of as less than passion and and fire and being consumed.

A person wants to be wanted unerringly. 

How do you learn to be happy with being acceptable?

How do you stop chasing what you think you might want, which is probably a fantasy that will never happen, and be content with the decent things you have right in front of you?