Growth

"Do the best you can until you know better.
Then when you know better, do better."
-Maya Angelou

I was thinking about that E.R Frank quote I used on a page earlier in the Junk Journal July challenge.

It talks about how, for long stretches of time, nothing changes

and then, all of the sudden, it changes so much you feel like a new person in a new life.

I made the original leaf girl for the Index Card A Day (ICAD) challenge, all the way back in 2013.
I was proud of her then, and I actually still like her!

And maybe for some things, that's true.

But other times, I think the truth is that things change so minutely

that we just don't notice, until we look back and see how far we've come.

We take small, incremental steps and go so far without even realizing it.

Here is the 2021 version of the leaf girl.
I like her too!

I have a hard time with slow and steady.

I'm much better at now and headlong.

I feel more than a little frustrated at how everything feels the same, 

how it seems like I've had the exact same thoughts and feelings for years.

But I don't know how to change.

I keep trying, but it feels like nothing is ever enough.

My friend asked me what would make me happy.

And the truth is, I don't know.

She said you can have dreams and you can have goals.

To her, dreams are things you hope for, but you realize they will probably never come true.

Goals are things that you work towards, that you take an active part in making come to fruition.

But I find that what I have always thought to be goals, are turning out to be dreams.

And it's ridiculous, because I don't think I'm really asking for much.

But I find myself disappointed again and again, no matter how hard I try.

Maybe tenacity is the answer.

Keep getting back up again when you get knocked down.

Eventually you might be able to have what you want.

But there have to be occasions where you keep getting knocked down

and you should take it as a sign that you should stay down.

How do you tell the difference?